Where Is It!
by Misstress Vitani
Summary: When Jesse loses something very important to him, he goes insane! it's up to Jaden and Syrus to help him find it before he goes completely mad! crackfi, OOCness, the usual...OH HOLD!
1. Chapter 1: This Means WAR!

Where Is It?!

I've been writing a lot of parodies recently to cheer myself up…I think its working…BOLT THE WINDOWS!! THE BRITISH ARE COMING!

Jesse – ((ahem)) You have to excuse her…it's late, she's sick and the medicine is making her drowsy but she won't go to bed. Plus…she's been drinking Vault…

Me – DROWN THE FISHES!!

Jesse – come on Vitani, time for bed…

Me – VAAAAAAUUUULLLLLTTTTTT!!

Atticus – And while Jesse wrangles her up, I guess I'll do the disclaimer…

…Misstress Vitani doesn't own Yu-Gi-Oh! GX…

Me – VAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUULLLLLLLLLLLLLTTTTTTTT!!

Chapter 1 : This means war! 

It was a bright and sunny day on the Duel Academy Campus. The sun was shinning, the birds were sinning, and Jesse was wreaking havoc everywhere. Yep. It was just another average day…

"JADEN!! WHERE IS IT!!!???" screamed a frantic Jesse. He ran over grabbed the brunette by the shoulders and shook him. "Where is it??!!"

"Jesse! Calm down!" Jaden shouted prying his friend off him. "Where's what? What are you looking for?"

Jesse wasn't listening. Instead, he was busy hitting himself with a fish that appeared out of nowhere.

Jaden sighed and ripped the fish from Jesse's hands. "Jess! What did you lose?"

The bluenette didn't listen. Instead he rambled on about the horrors of broccoli and why you shouldn't boil vegetable juices.

Jaden smacked Jesse across the face and repeated slowly, "What. Did. You. Lose?"

Jesse rubbed his now reddening cheek. He looked at Jaden with puppy dog eyes and latched onto his friend's shoulders. "They took it Jay!" he shrieked. "They took my most priced possession!"

"Your deck!!??" Jaden gasped in horror.

"No," Jesse said. "That's right here. They only way they'd get that is if they'd grabbed it out of my butt pocket. I'd think I'd know if that happened!"

"Then what did they take?"

"they took, they took….Oh it's too painful!!" Jesse screamed and ran.

"Jesse wait! Maybe I can help!" Jaden shouted, but it was too late. The bluenette had disappeared.

Jaden sighed and ran his fingers threw his hair. "Guess I better go find him."

But he didn't have to go far. He spotted Jesse running in circles around and terrified Syrus who was tied to a tree. Jaden sighed for the umpteenth time that day and ran to help.

Jesse had stopped in front of Syrus and was know interrogating him. "Where were you the day after yesterday?" Jesse asked.

"Um….h-here?" Syrus answered.

"I knew it!" Jesse shrieked. "I knew you were working for them! Well you can tell those evil vegetables I will never boil them! You here! NEVER!"

"Jesse! Stop it!" Jaden cried.

Jesse turned to look at Jaden, then back to Syrus then blinked once…twice…oh no! The triple blink! Jesse shook his head and burst into tears, falling to the ground and hugging his knees.

Jaden ran over and untied Syrus. The little bluenette clung to his friend. "What's wrong with him?"

"He's lost something important to him and apparently, it's made him like this."

"Jaden!" Jesse suddenly cried tackling the brunette to the ground. "You can't do it! You just can't!"

"Can't do what Jesse?"

"DON'T EAT THE BANANAS!!" Jesse screamed, jumping off of Jaden and tugging at his hair. "THEY'RE YELLOW!"

"OoooooooooKay," Jaden and Syrus said in unison.

Jesse continued to pull at his hair and sob uncontrollably as his friends watched.

"Maybe we should help him find what he's lost?" Syrus suggested. "What did he lose anyway?"

"He won't tell me," Jaden replied, "but we need to find it or he'll never stop!"

As the two friends were conversing, they didn't notice that Jesse had run off and was torturing other students. "IF YOU'RE WORKING FOR THE VEGGIES I'LL FIGURE IT OUT SOONER OR LATER!" he shouted at a group of kids who were cowering in fear in front of him.

Suddenly, Jesse turned and locked his eyes on Bastion, or rather, Bastion's Rah-yellow dorm jacket.

"Hello Jesse," Bastion called as the bluenette approached him. Jesse had a blank expression on his face.

"You ok?" Bastion asked. "You don't look to good."

Jesse twitched twice before pouncing on Bastion. "IT'S YELLOW! THE COLOR OF EVIL!" he shouted, clawing at Bastion's jacket. "SO YOU'RE IN LEGUE WITH THE VEGGIES HUH??!!!"

"What are you talking about??!!!" Bastion shouted, shoving Jesse off as Jaden and Syrus ran into the scene.

"WHO IS YOUR COMMANDER!??" Jesse screamed, "IS IT BANANA??!!"

"Jesse, I don't have a commander!" Bastion shouted. "And bananas aren't vegetables, they're fruits!"

Jesse again burst into tears, falling to the ground hugging his knees.

Bastion glanced at Jaden and Syrus, looking for an answer. Jaden smiled and explained, "He lost something important to him and now he's acting like this and me and Syrus are going to help him find it!"

"Well find it fast," Bastion said, "and it's 'Syrus and I' Jaden not 'me and Syrus."

"Whatever!"

Jaden walked over and helped Jesse up. Jesse clung to him again and

"I know, Jesse, I know!" Jaden soothed. "We'll find it, don't worry." Jaden helped Jesse over to a rock and sat him down on it. Kneeling in front of him he asked slowly, "Now. What. Did. You. Lose?"

Jesse sniffled, opened his mouth to speak, then close it again as something caught his eye. Something shinny was dancing a few feet in front of him…and he knew what it was!

Jesse bolted upright, knocking Jaden over in the processes, and sprinted toward the dancing shinny, object.

"Jesse wait!" Jaden shouted.

"Can't Jay!" Jesse replied, "I have to find it! WARN THE STUDENTS! THE BRITISH ARE COMING!!!!"

Jaden smacked his forehead and sighed…again…before grabbing Syrus and running off to find Jesse. Again, they didn't have to look far before they heard Jesse's, very girlish, scream of horror.

Jaden and Syrus ran toward the source of girlishness and stopped. They saw Jesse, standing with his fists clenched at his sides and standing across from him was Zane, Alexis, and Atticus. Atticus was smiling and holding some type of box wrapped up in shinny green foil.

"YOU TOOK IT!" Jesse screamed, again very girlishly, and pointed an accusing finger at the trio.

Atticus and Alexis giggled and Zane nodded. "That's right," he said. "And if you want it back…then you'll have to come get it!"

And with that, the trio ran.

Jaden and Syrus approached Jesse whose head was down. His hair was hiding his face from view.

"Jess?" Syrus asked quietly.

"THAT'S IT!" Jesse screamed, making Syrus and Jaden jump two feet in the air, "THIS MEAN WAR!"  
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Me – YEEEESSSS! Chapter 1 complete!

Jesse – ok now get to bed.

Me –don't wanna!

Jesse – ((sighs)) whatever, but don't blame me if you pass out.

Me – ((sticks tongue out)) Anywho! Read and re- ((passes out))

Jesse – ((smirks)) works every time…((ahem)) as Misstress Vitani was trying to say Read and Review!

Me – FISHES!!


	2. Chapter 2: Ready Your Weapons!

Me – I'm BAAAACCCCKKKK!!! YES I DID TWO CHAPIES IN ONE NIGHT!!

Jesse – unfortunately…it's like 2 in the morning...she got bored and wrote another one

Me – I'm feeling better now but I still got the sniffles…

Jesse – because you won't lie down!

Me – I don't wanna! I don't own anything…just this story and it's plot…

Jesse – Lay down!

Me – NEVER!!\

Chapter 2: Ready You're Weapons!

"LET US BE WENT! WE MUST PERPARE!" Jesse shouted as he dragged Jaden and Syrus behind him. "We must defeat the enemy! I must have my preciousnesses returned to me!"

Jaden and Syrus both looked at each other and sighed, this was going to be a long day.

Jesse dragged them both back to his room and threw them down on his bed. He then stomped over to his closet and began pulling out random items.

Laying them all out on his bed, he sorted through them. The items included: a squirt gun, a water bottle, 15 small balloons, red food coloring, a small bushel of bananas (Jesse grimaced as he handled them), 3 pairs of boots, gloves, and a frying pan.

Jaden glanced at the items, "weapons" as Jesse called them, and looked up and Jesse. "What are you going to do with these?"

"No time!" Jesse screamed, "I'll explain when we get there!" Jesse pulled on a pair of boots, grabbed gloves and some other items and gestured to the others to do the same.

Jaden and Syrus shrugged, pulled on their boots and gloves, grabbed some items and followed Jesse out the door.

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When they found where the trio was hiding, Jesse pulled them aside and whispered to them. "ok. Here's the plan."

He took a big breath then began to speak, "We fill up the squirt gun and half the balloons with water. Drop a couple drops of food coloring in each balloon and hide them. Jaden you grab the frying pan. Syrus peel some bananas (Jesse shuddered). We are going to get rid of Zane first," Jesse paused and Syrus's gasp and continued, "We aren't going to kill him. Just knock him out. We are going to sneak up behind him and squirt him with water. When he chases us, Jaden you hit him in the head and knock him out. After that we go after Alexis.

We grab the balloons and launch them at her. When they hit her and the food coloring spreads she is going to run away to get cleaned up. Atticus will try to follow and that's when the bananas come in. We will drop them on the ground, he will trip, my preciousnesses will fall from his hands, and we grab them and run. Any questions?"

Jaden and Syrus glanced at each other with shocked expressions, nodded dumbly and followed Jesse over to get ready,

After the gun was filled, the water balloons ready, and the bananas peeled, they stood around the corner. Jesse had the water gun, Jaden the frying pan, and Syrus was shaking.

Jesse glanced at them, turned around and whispered, "NOW!"

He squirted Zane in the back of the neck with the gun. Zane turned around, glared, and ran after them.

Jesse cackled(1) manically and ran, a terrified Jaden and Syrus following them. When Zane close in Jesse turned to Jaden and screamed. "NOW!"

Jaden gulped, skidded to a halt, faced Zane and _**BANG!!**_

The frying pan came in contact with Zane's face and he crumpled to the floor. Jesse cackled again and rubbed his hands together. "Phase 1, complete!" he said to no one. 

He turned back around mumbling under his breath about chili beans and the others followed him.

They went back to their spot. They grabbed the balloons, aimed, and fired on Jesse's command. The balloons whizzed through the air and landed squarely on Alexis's bosoms.

She screamed, "OMG! MY SHIRT!"

Jesse ordered them to go get their bananas peels. They did and as Alexis ran past them to clean her shirt, they dropped their peels as Atticus came chasing after his sister.

Atticus slipped on the peels, fell, backward, and just as Jesse predicted the box flew out of his hands.

Jesse shrieked and dove to catch it. When he caught it he stood and shrieked in victory, doing a little dance to.

Jesse flopped down on the ground and ripped open the shinny box. "My preciousnesses!"

But…the box was empty! GASP!

Jesse burst into tears and glanced at Atticus who was giggling on the floor. "You'll have to try harder than that!"

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Me – WWWWWWWWWEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! I'm done with the second chap! Sorry it was so short…

Jesse – and she still won't lie down.

Me – shut up Jess Jess!

Jesse – ((sighs)) Read and Review….please?

Me – WWWWWWWWWWWEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!


	3. Chapter 3: Ready, aim, JellO?

Me – another day…another chapter!

Jesse – I'm impressed. You're actually writing today and not being lazy.

Me – chapters for this story just keep falling out of my brain. Hopefully I'll have it finished!

Jesse – we can only hope…

Me – maybe I should get a stopper for my brain…that way things won't fall out…I don't want to loose any of my intelligence.

Jesse – trust me dear, you've already lost it…

…She doesn't own anything. She's too stupid to. I don't even think she's realized I've insulted her.

Me – ((pushes flash button on my camera)) hehe…pretty…

Jesse – point proven.

Chapter 3: Ready, aim…Jell-O?

As Jesse continued to sob Jaden and Syrus glanced at the shinny, foil covered box. It looked like an ordinary shinny box. What could be so special about it?

"Jesse? You ok?" Jaden asked, rubbing his friend's back.

Jesse sniffled, glanced at Jaden and shook his head. "We have to get it back Jay," he sobbed, "or I'll go crazy!"

"Too late for that," Jaden mumbled under his breath.

"Can you tell us what they took?" asked Syrus, holding up the shinny box, "it would be a great help if we new what we where looking for. Or was it the box that they took?"

"It…it…it was in the box!" Jesse cried, anime sized tear-fountains pouring from his eyes. "They've taken them out! They've taken them! My beautifuls!"

Jaden and Syrus both sighed…again…and helped Jesse stand. They glances over at where they thought Atticus was laying but discovered he, along with the rest of his trio (including an unconscious Zane) had escaped! GASP!

"We HAVE to find them!" Jesse yelled, jumping up and grabbing Jaden by the collar. "The lives of my beauties are at steak!"

Jesse dragged Jaden back toward his room; Syrus blinked and ran after them.

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Back in Jesse's room, or the "Secret Cave of Plotting" as Jesse called it, the said bluenette was rummaging through his closet, again!

But this time he grabbed to large bowls and 34 packets of instant Jell-O!

"What do you have, a store in there?!' Jaden cried.

Jesse cackled(1) and rushed out the door. "I WILL GET YOU BACK MY PRETTIES!"

Syrus looked at Jaden with pleading eyes, "do we have to go?"

Jaden nodded reluctantly, "We have to make sure he doesn't try to kill anyone, or anything."

The pair reluctantly(2) followed.

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The two found Jesse sitting outside the cafeteria doors mixing the Jell-O in the bowls.

"Jesse?"

"They're in there!" Jesse hissed, "Look!"

Jaden and Syrus peeked into the cafeteria window and saw the trio sitting at a table.

"What are you going to do with the Jell-O?" Syrus gulped.

"LAUNCH IT!" Jesse hissed loudly.

"Sounds like fun!" Jaden cheered. "I'm so in!"

So, as Jesse finished making the Jell-O, the three of them each grabbed a bowl and snuck inside. They hide behind the counter and waited. Jesse slowly counted to 10, or rather, tried to count to 10. but in the mood that he was in now, it was kind of hard.

"1, 2, 5, 78, 92, yellow, chicken…NOW!"

The three of them jumped up in unison and launched their Jell-O at the trio. But what they didn't know was that the trio had their own Jell-O too!

"JELL-O WAR!" Jaden shrieked in delight.

Jesse again laughed like a maniac, throwing Jell-O in Atticus face. As the Jell-O flew about the room no one noticed, Dr. Crowler(sp?) walking into the room.

"GOOD HEAVENS!" he/she cried! "WHAT IS THE MEANING OF THIS?!"

both parties ceased their fire and glanced at the Dr.

Jesse raised his hand, Jell-O ready, and launched it into the Dr's face. Jesse shrieked in delight as the Dr fell and the war continued. He tackled Atticus to the ground, wrestling another shinny box from his grasp and screamed in victory.

He grabbed Jaden and fled with Syrus following quickly behind. As they reached the outside Jesse flopped down on his butt and tore open the box…but…

…a miniature clown pop out and scare the daylights out of all of them. Pinned to the clown's hat was a note that read…

_Dear Idiot,_

_HAHA! WE STILL HAVE YOU'RE (insert name here)! IF YOU WANT THEM BACK YOU'LL HAVE TO TRY HARDER! _

_LOVE, THE TRIO_

_P.S. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! YOU'RE ALL STUPID! _

Jesse sniffled as he read the note.

"Aww, Jess, you're not dumb…"

"THEY TRICKED ME AGAIN!" he screamed and threw himself onto his back. Jaden and Syrus sighed…this really was going to be a long day.

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(1) it's back! My fave word!

(2) My second fave word

Me – people have been asking about what Atty took…well…read to find out! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Jesse – you scare me…

Me – guess what guys! I got two new muses! Their names are Alaynna and LeLesley!

Jesse – ((gasps in horror)) am I being replaced!?

Me – no dearest, you're not.

Alaynna – yeah, she's just expanding her horizons.

LeLesley – We We!

Me – LeLesley you are not French…

LeLesley – I am not?

Me – no

Alaynna – ((giggles)) you're so clueless!

Me – Ok my muses! Do the honors!

Jesse, Alaynna, LeLesley – READ AND REVIEW!


	4. Chapter 4: Coming out of the Closet

Me – hello. I've returned.

Jesse – unfortunately…

Alaynna – be nice Jesse!

Jesse – ((pouts))

Me – thank you A-Chan

Alaynna – your welcome!

LeLesley – and since I've been quiet all this time…I guess I'll do the disclaimer.

Me – take it away!

LeLesley – Mademoiselle Vitani doesn't own Yu-Gi-Oh! GX.

Me – ((raises and eyebrow))

LeLesley – what?

Me – Mademoiselle?

LeLesley – What about it?

Alaynna – I thought we went through this already…YOU'RE NOT FRENCH!!!

Jesse – ((talking over the arguing in the background)) enjoy the story while these 2 argue…

Chapter 4: Coming out of the Closet

((The Trio's P.O.V))

As Jesse continued to sob on the ground, Jaden and Syrus trying to consol him, the trio was working out where to hide Jesse's preciousnesses.

"We have to put them somewhere they'll never look," Alexis said, scratching her blonde head. "How about under the bed?"

"In a cookie jar?"

"No. Jesse loves cookies! He'll find it."

"Under a rock!"

"in a shoe?"

"Up in a tree!"

Zane and Alexis glanced at Atticus who was giggling madly and waving the green foil covered box in the air.

"They won't look up there!" Atticus continued. "Syrus is afraid of heights, and besides, who'd look in a tree anyways?"

Zane nodded his head in agreement and Alexis patted her brother on the head. "I never thought this day would come," she sighed, "the day when my brother finally had a good idea!"

Zane chuckled, "Ok guys, let's put that box in the tree."

Atticus giggled and took off to find the perfect tree. Alexis and Zane followed behind.

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Unfortunately…Atticus happened to pick the biggest, most difficult tree to climb on the whole campus.

"How are we going to get up there?" Zane asked.

"I've climbed every tree on this campus except this one," Atticus said, his tone suddenly serious. "This tree has thwarted my every attempted to climb it and today will be the day that I finally succeed!"

Alexis glanced at Zane who shook his head and sighed.

Atticus, the foil covered box placed securely in his coat, stood beneath the tree. "Well 'Big Campus Tree' it's just you and me now."

Atticus reached up and grabbed a low hanging branch. Pulling himself up onto the nest one he continued on up. But Big Campus Tree (BCT for short) knew what Atticus had in mind. It let one of its longer branches fall in front on Atticus's chest.

Realizing this a little too late, Atticus stumbled into the branch. Losing his footing, he tumbled to ground, landing with a loud "oof!" And just for good measure, BCT let another branch fall on to Atticus's head.

Alexis and Zane ran toward him. "Are you ok?"

"I-I'm fine…" Atticus mumbled. He sat up, shook his head and sighed. "I told you that tree hates me."

Zane sighed, "Give me the box."

Atticus sat up rubbing his head and gave Zane the box. Zane, tucking the box into his blazer, grabbed the same low hanging branch and began to climb. But BCT had other plans and dropped a dead limb onto to Zane.

But Zane, expecting this, dodged it and kept climbing. "Haha tree! Not this time!"

This made BCT angry. As Zane climbed higher, the tree waited, plotting its next move. As Zane reached the top, BCT squirted out some sap onto the branch. Zane grabbed it and slipped (1) tumbling down onto the branches below. Before he could grab on, he fell farther down, right onto Atticus.

Both boys groaned as they stood. Alexis giggled as she helped them up. "Think we should find another spot?"

"Yea," Atticus and Zane moaned in unison.

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((In the Secret Cave on Plotting)) ((with Jesse, Jaden, and Syrus))

"I'TS NOT FAIR!" Jesse shrieked as he flopped onto his bed. Jaden and Syrus sighed. Jesse had been crying for the past 20 minutes and it was starting to get on their nerves!

"Jesse! Its ok! We'll get them back." Jaden tried to comfort his friend but to no avail.

"WHY AREN'T MY PLANS WORKING?"

"Because you're a bumbling idiot," Syrus mumbled under his breath. Luckily Jesse was to busy crying to hear him.

"Jesse, SHHH! It'll be ok! Just calm down!" Jaden shouted.

"Can we just lock him in the closet?" Syrus asked.

"Good idea!" Jaden cried.

With Syrus's help Jaden lifted Jesse off the bed. As Jaden opened the closet out popped a random girl.

This random girl looked around, glanced at Jesse, then to Jaden and Syrus and said, "Are you raping him?"

"No we are not!" Jaden shouted.

"Oooooooooooooooooooohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh," the random girl replied.

"Who are you?" Syrus asked.

The random girl smiled happily and shouted, "I'm the new moose!"

"moose?"

"Yes moose. Now if you'll excuse me I have to go see a man about a monkey! TTFN!" and with that the random girl skipped out of Jesse's room.

Jaden glanced at Syrus, "Did a crazy moose girl just come out of the closet?"

Syrus giggled, "Yea."

"Well at least we don't have to worry about her hitting on us!" Both Syrus and Jaden laughed as they locked Jesse in the closet.

Just then the random girl hopped back into the scene and smacked them both across the face. "I'll have you know that I am straight! And I was only in you're closet because I got lost!"

"You got lost doing what?"

"Have you seen what Jesse has in this thing!" the random girl cried pointing to Jesse's closet. "Anybody could get lost in there!"

"Do you have a name? Or can we just keep calling you random girl?" Jaden asked.

"Call me KayK."

"Ok KayK."

KayK laughed, "that's confusing," and skipped out of the room.

Syrus and Jaden looked at each other and burst into laughter.

"She still came out the closet!"

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(1) how do you slip on tree sap? Isn't it sticky?

Me – Anywho….not a good name for the chapter but I thought it was funny.

Alaynna – it was funny!

Me – thanks A-chan

KayK – I'm here for the moose position!

Jesse – moose?

LeLesley – I think she means muse.

KayK – no! I wanna be a moose!

Jesse – Muse!

KayK- moose!

Jesse – MUSE!

KayK – MOOSE!

Jesse – ((glares at KayK))

KayK – ((glomps him))

Jesse – ((screams))

Me – and while those two are bonding, my other muses and I will wrap this up!

Alaynna, LeLesley, Me – READ AND REVIEW!

KayK – ((stills glomping Jesse)) ITS MOOSE!


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